Hellsing High
by The-Reject-Crayon
Summary: At Hellsing High: Academy of the Fine Arts of Vampire Slaying, where the teachers are vampires, Nazis, or just plain crazy, nothing is normal. Ever.


Yes, I stopped being lazy and finally finished the first chapter. I had been planning this for a while actually, but with everything going on, and all of my fics I'm working on, this got pushed back. A lot. So don't expect the second chapter anytime soon. Sorry. I'm just really busy.

So, yes, this is English with Alucard. Following will either be History with the Major or Math with Seras.

Integra is an angry principal. Scary...

And if you've read Dracula you might notice where I got the names Lucy and Mina.

Disclaimer: OCs are mine, all other characters not. Don't own Hellsing...

* * *

_Dear Mina, _

_It's me, Lucy. My new high school is not at all what I expected. It's very… strange, to say the least. I know, I know, every new student at any school must think it's strange at first, but I have a very good reason to think so. My English teacher is a violent man obsessed with vampires, my History teacher is a Nazi wanna-be, my Math teacher seems to be obsessed with my English teacher, and my principal, I believe, is a complete madwoman. And that's certainly not all of it. Some of the students, my peers, are… less than normal, to say the least. Dearest Mina… I miss you… _

_Where to start? Well, My English teacher, Mr. Alucard…_

* * *

"And what is it about your English teacher, child, that you find so strange?" A cool, creepy voice asked.

Lucy jumped in her seat, quickly hunching over the letter she had been writing, and looked up. To her horror, there stood before her the very man she had been writing about to her childhood friend. Mr. Alucard, her English teacher at Hellsing High.

The tall man was dressed in a long, red coat, and orange tinted sunglasses hid his eyes. He wore a large, floppy hat, and hardly any of his face, or his emotions, could be seen.

She would have to come up with an excuse, and fast, but nothing would come to her mind.

"Er, I, well sir…"

To her surprise, the strange man simply gave her a large grin, and Lucy could have sworn that she saw fangs in his mouth.

"Lucy… That's a lovely name you have. I once knew of another young woman by that name." he spoke slowly.

Lucy blinked. She had no idea what he was talking about. He suddenly seemed lost in his memories, staring off into space. He was crazy, she had decided.

And without another word the creepy teacher turned away from her as if nothing had happened.

The door to the classroom opened a crack, and an extremely pieced face peeked in. The individual was, for once, abiding by the school rules and not wearing anything over his head, but his face told everyone that he was extremely pissed.

Jan Valentine was late, as usual, just like he was late every day.

Mr. Alucard ignored the door, and the boy, walking over to the chalkboard as though he didn't notice. But as he came to the board and picked up an eraser covered in chalk dust, he suddenly chucked it with extreme accuracy at the black haired youth, hitting him square in the face.

"You are late, brat." The teacher said without even looking at the now chalk covered boy. Then, calmly, he picked up a piece of chalk and began writing on the board.

The youth swore under his breath, glaring at the teacher. "Yo, what was that for, you bastard? How dare you! When my bro finds out-"

This time it was a piece of chalk that was hurled at his face, and again, hit perfectly, without Mr. Alucard even glancing at him.

"OW!"

"Want to know something about your brother? I ate hi-"

"ALUCARD!" came a screaming voice over the intercom, making the other students wince and cover their ears. The teacher being screamed at didn't seem to mind in the least though.

"Yes, Master Integra?" the man spoke at the speaker.

This seemed like a strange way to be addressing the principal, Lucy thought, but then again, he was crazy.

"Keep your mouth shut and do your job. Or else there will be consequences." Principal Integra ordered in a threatening voice.

Mr. Alucard only grinned. "Right, right. Will do."

"Woah, wait, that bitch is _listening in on us_?" Jan asked, trying to avoid the chalk that was still being chucked at him.

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!"

That would be a yes, Lucy thought.

"Well, more like she's listening in on _me_." Mr. Alucard said, flashing another fanged-grin.

"Alucard, discipline that student _now_! Do you hear me? How dare you le-" the voice suddenly cut off as the teacher tossed a textbook at the speaker, driving it through the wall.

"Oops. Now, where were we? Oh, yes, I'm going to have you all read the novel Dracula by Bram Stoker. Wonderful book, though I believe some parts are slightly inaccurate… "

The class was silent.

"Oh, and you in the back." Mr. Alucard said suddenly, pointing to a boy in the back row. The student had his blond hair was covered with a hat, and had been staring off into space. The said boy jumped in his seat, surprised and perhaps slightly terrified to be called on.

"V-vhat iz it?" the boy spoke with a German accent.

"Your name?"

"Schrodinger…" came the nervous reply.

"The hat. Take it off." The creepy teacher ordered.

The boy blinked, looking nervous. "Ah, but, Doc said zat I am not supposed to…" his voice trailed off, uncertain of what to do.

Mr. Alucard was silent, then he turned back to the board, writing Dracula in large letters in chalk.

"Now, your books." He said, crossing the room to open up a cabinet, and took out twenty books or so. He carried them back to the front and set them down on his desk. Without a word, he turned back to the students.

The first book came without warning, landing on the first student's desk with a thud. No one had seen the mad teacher throw it, and didn't have time to look up and see him throw the second before it hit another student's desk. His hands flashed, wicked fast, as he tossed the third, the fourth, the fifth.

Every student watched in amazement as each book landed on their desks, perfectly upright and undamaged, as if their teacher had simply placed them on their desks. When it came for Jan to have his book tossed on his desk, he, expecting it to land perfectly like all the other students' had, was surprised when the book made hard contact with his face instead of his desk.

"Ow, what the hell?!"

Mr. Alucard ignored him, though Lucy thought she was the hint of a smug expression on his face.

Nervous hat-wearing Schrodinger was also taken aback when his book collided with his head, making him let out a tiny sound of pain.

After all of the books had been handed, or chucked, out, Mr. Alucard sat down at his desk, propped up his feet, and grabbed his own copy of the book.

"Alright, children. Let's get started."

Things certainly were strange at Hellsing High…


End file.
